...I hate that when Ryan comes home I seem to ignore everything else. I started this blog as a way to process everything, and when I need it the most is when I quit doing it. So here I am... Sticking to something I started while Ryan was away, trying to be the best me for me, and in turn, the best me for him.
I went to a woman's "life group" last night. There's like 20 women who get together weekly and support each other in growth and in prayer. We are going through a workbook called Making The Most Of Your Resources: How Do I Manage My Time, Energy, and Money? I am super excited. The ladies are awesome, when I look around the room all I see is potential for me to draw on wisdom and life experience from them. And not selfishly, I hope I will be able to bring something to the table. I am not sure what that is or could be but I know I am there for a reason. My prayer request last night was that I stick with the group as I know it is going to accomplish something life changing.
And yes, you read correctly, Ryan is home. He is clean, looking for a job and a sponsor. We decided to make Gateway our home church and hopefully get involved in the High School group sometime in the future. Right now our ministry is our marriage. I wonder with everything that's happened in this past year if we have even been able to go through what normal couples consider the hardest year of marriage? Like, is that still waiting for us or was that compounded into all the other crap? We shall see.
I am working on my book when I can- only on page 8 so far. I want to keep up on it weekly so it is a real account of happenings. I am working my codependency steps as I go through it, giving up a little more control each day. I am pretty stingy with it. Kinda like when Chopper gets something in his mouth he's not supposed to have and plays "dodge Mom while she tries to get it".
I absolutely adore Bettie, the new puppy. She sleeps with us every night.
I told my boss that for now my marriage needs to come first and that for a while I will not be working weekends as they tried to get me to. I signed on for Monday through Thursday. Thankfully he grudgingly agreed to it.
I think that catches me up. If you pray, pray for balance for me. Even if it's always a struggle, pray I keep struggling through it.
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