"Explex Delays"

Hi guys,
This morning was incredible. I got to meet Tawni and Paul's son, Brayden Randall Ybarra. So amazing - a whole new life began. Something so joyful is a welcome overshadow of anything else.

But I will update you- this has become a very easy way to let you know what is going on so every time I talk to you or run into you I don't have to go through everything. Which saves me, but mostly saves YOU. ;)
This past week was a roller coaster. I have a feeling weeks like that are definitely ahead of me still. On Tawni's street they are doing construction and they have spray painted on a board the words "EXPLEX DELAYS". Horribly misspelled, but I got it anyway. I have a feeling that sign was directed at me in my life at this time. I truly should give myself a break and expect delays, and drive cautiously through the construction that is my life.

I started going to the gym before work and it has been so much fun. Tawni showed me how to use the equipment. Yes, I needed someone to show me. I am already below my target weight that the surgeon wants me at before surgery.

At work, Cheryl and I have been selling so many spas we brought our Capitola store to the #1 selling store for April of our 8 Bay Area locations. SO that is awesome too.

Last Friday evening for some unknown reason, my Dad and I had a fight. Well, he yelled and I cried. I am not mad, I think in that moment it was clear that I am not the only one in the midst of divorcing Ryan. As much as it hurts to lose a husband, I am sure it is just as hard to feel like he is losing a son. My mom wears her anguish on her sleeve, I have seen her cry and grieve for Ryan. I think Dads hold themselves to some standard of no crying, no weakness. But if it is going to manifest itself in a rant against me, for God's sake man, CRY.

Last Saturday was a toughie. Ryan came to get his stuff, he moved out of town a week ago today. He brought a friend with him, like it couldn't get any more awkward than it was. We are going to meet up in a few weeks to sign papers. I know not everyone will understand this, but the only way I feel like we have any chance in the future is if we can get rid of the old. I hate who I became. I hate who he became. We both have a lot of work to do, and if we come together again in the future it would have to be a "start from scratch" situation, a real chance.

Then Tuesday was a real treat. It was our 2 year wedding anniversary. Dates aren't usually that significant but this one was a bit painful. Never expected to spend a wedding anniversary in 2 different area codes. Didn't expect much of any of this.

This weekend everyone is out of town but me. I have my dog and my Mom's dog, so we will see who survives. I am thinking it might not be me- I haven't left the compound until today, too scared to leave them alone for long. So at least I am all caught up on laundry, dishes, and I rearranged my living room, again. :)
Peace out guys, I am gonna finish up work and hopefully go love on the Ybarras!